The World’s Ugliest Teapot
I’m a restrained op shopper compared to the Vanessa Berry of the past. To ensure I am able to move around my home and don’t get trapped under piles of teatowels, vintage ceramics, crockery and weird books I have strict rules for op shop viewing and purchasing. Rather than completely deprive myself of my most favourite hobby (leading to dangerous binges) however, I make a once-weekly op shop stop on the way to work.
Recently, on one of these stops, I found the world’s ugliest teapot.
I spend my days advising students to be careful when making bold, general claims. However I believe this teapot is in fact the world’s ugliest, with its perplexing aesthetic combination of onions and haemorrhoids. Upon Googling “world’s ugliest teapot” a number of other candidates arose, but while the toilet teapot, the Adolf Hitler teapot and the obese rhinocerous teapot are all hideous, I believe there is something in the form of this teapot that works subconsciously upon the human mind to produce revulsion.
I bought the teapot, but not straight away. First I was so horrified I left it on the shelf. I then spent all morning thinking about it. What was wrong with me: I’d left the world’s ugliest teapot on the shelf! I consulted with Simon, who assured me it would be a “conversation piece”, and then skulked out at lunchtime, returned to the shop, and bought it.
“Isn’t this cute?” the woman at the counter said.
“I don’t know – is it?” I asked, bemused, as I handed over my $8.
As an interesting co-discovery I now have a new travel goal, to visit the Meitan Tea Museum in China which is housed in the world’s largest teapot, 73.8 metres tall and with a capacity of 28,360.23 cubic metres. We can only be thankful it is of a conventional shape and not modelled on my newest op shop acquisition.